I met you on a day like today, killing time talking about my father's father.
I laughed, “I wonder if I'm like him, or if he is someone like me?”
Can't stand it but I do, I want to feel better than I do, can't stand being so weird all of the time.
But I am living life like a screw up, while everyone's got plans for a lofty future, I'm just trying to make it through the week. Nobody feels the way I do. Oh you do? Me too, but I don't know.
I'm over this, can we move on, I don't want to know about the future. I don't want to know what it feels like to get old and bitter and tired of life.
I think you feel the same way too, as I do.
'Cause I am living life like a screw up, everyone's got plans for a lofty future but I'm just trying to make it through the week. Nobody feels the way I do. Oh, you do? Me too, but I don't know.
Track Name: Ghost Pity
Your father is out golfing away his problems, and your mom gets paid to talk to strangers but she still “don't have a word” to say to you. And you say you don't care, I don't know how you do it.
If you love them, don't you need them and don't you need them to love you too?
So you cut cut cut away all of your feelings, just to avoid them seeing something,
but even if they did, you doubt they would care.
You're just a hair on a blade in a bloodless holy war.
So today is your last, just like the past 4 years, the feeling feels healthy and worth it.
But not much has changed, a grown woman afraid of phone calls, afraid of bad news.
Afraid we don't all live forever like we used to.
You take pills in your purse and you wonder if you'd want to.
I'm at home feeling sorry for myself and my perfect family, hiding out in my room always distracted, but somehow you're always always always on my mind.
You're the reason I'm still staring at the ceiling, losing sleep, wasting time.
Do you feel “sorry for me” or “envy me” the way that I envy you at all?
Do you feel “sorry for me” or “envy me” the way that I envy you?
Am I in love when I breathe in pity and leave myself alone?
Track Name: Never Left
Think I'm coming home empty handed with a smile on my face,
even though you know it's fake.
Me and death got to talking in the back room of a chapel, I don't know why I got up and left him there.
Saw my body looking up from the casket and my whole family was drenched in tears.
“Death is a funny sort of romance, it can drive you insane or make you grow up faster than you intend.”
I saw a boy walking home on his last day on earth, I could have picked him up and made it a little less lonely, because God was tugging on my shirtsleeve.
So now I pick everyone up I see, just hoping he will forgive me.
Just hoping he'll forgive me.
But I can't waste my time on petty feelings of regret.
Track Name: Exit
It started in my television set, subtle evil, not quite a noose around my neck, just white lies and uncollared shirts.
But I learned quickly, that's just the way the world is, nothing to be alarmed about.
But now it's in my mind, it's in my family, I'm hurting people I've never met.
It's spreading like a disease, down from my morals to my sleeves, consuming my dreams.
Can't tell if it's in my head or on the news screen. My friends losing their minds or just a bad dream.
Some people walk away from the ones they love. Some people never walk back, it's not fair.
We slowly kill ourselves, and we don't even notice. We don't even care.
And none of your friends come to your shows because they know it's not worth it, and it's sad to even watch you try anymore.
I would feel a little better, if I would take my life and give it to you.
But I know eventually, that I would snatch it back when you're not looking.
It's hard to see that I'm a falling leaf, snuffed out by time and disease.
The lonely least of these.